i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish you could order shots online.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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