Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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