He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
