you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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