Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize