Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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