scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
