New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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