I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
