i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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