dude i'm inner monologue high
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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