I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
