im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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