erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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