we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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