at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
