Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
