I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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