I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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