come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
