you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
