im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
