Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize