he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
