Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
