What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
