I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
