judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
