I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
