I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
