she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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