Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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