My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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