I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
