Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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