Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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