I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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