its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
