you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize