yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
