420 ftw
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
