im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
nutella sex= disaster
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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