a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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