I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
