We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
