Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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