mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
