I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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