well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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