I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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