no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
