he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
