Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
